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Vandals Down in Dumps After Raw Sewage Floods Clubhouse Wednesday, April 20th , 2067 Talk about putting your foot in it. For the Vancouver Vandals staff and players, today's stinker in the clubhouse looks to be emblematic of the season as a whole. Jerry Mander showed up hours early, as he always does, hoping to fit in a light workout before the game. After his workout, clad in a towel and a pair of rubber sandals, he entered the darkened showers. "Nothing seemed wrong," said the team's right fielder with a grimace. "I had no idea what was waiting for me." "At first, I didn't smell anything - it was the cold on my feet. I wondered why there was water all over, so I walked back and found the light to see what I was stepping in," Mander said. "I wish I hadn't." Dark, viscous, strangely lumpy water, bubbling up from the floor drains, now spilling out into the common room. The team's stadium has suffered from intermittent plumbing problems since it first opened, but this is the first time team staffers can recall the problem coming to a head, so to speak. "It's Adam Mooring," said a team employee who asked to remain nameless referring to the team's owner. "This place is a dump, literally. It's an embarrassment to the players, the team, and the league, and Mooring should be ashamed." Staffers rushed in a local team of plumbers to find and fix the source of the problem: a pipe blocked by two cotton hand towels - the same towels found in the home team's locker room. It's unclear how the towels found their way into those pipes, but the team indicates they are "looking into it." |
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