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| Name | G | AB | R | H | 2B | 3B | HR | RBI | TB | BB | K | SB | CS | AVG | OBP | SLG | OPS | WAR |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Bass Reeves 2B | 108 | 448 | 106 | 130 | 27 | 3 | 12 | 53 | 199 | 59 | 101 | 102 | 13 | .290 | .369 | .444 | .813 | 5.4 |
| Daniel Plainview C | 108 | 440 | 75 | 131 | 36 | 4 | 15 | 94 | 220 | 49 | 104 | 0 | 1 | .298 | .366 | .500 | .866 | 4.4 |
| Lawn Gnomes RF | 108 | 439 | 86 | 154 | 59 | 9 | 20 | 101 | 291 | 46 | 98 | 0 | 0 | .351 | .409 | .663 | 1.072 | 6.0 |
| Ted Giannoulas 1B | 108 | 424 | 71 | 124 | 25 | 2 | 23 | 83 | 222 | 57 | 113 | 0 | 1 | .292 | .377 | .524 | .901 | 3.2 |
| Smalls LF | 108 | 422 | 54 | 115 | 34 | 1 | 14 | 56 | 193 | 45 | 108 | 0 | 0 | .273 | .342 | .457 | .800 | 2.1 |
| Xicoyotl Montalbán 3B | 108 | 411 | 56 | 94 | 14 | 6 | 16 | 61 | 168 | 45 | 100 | 34 | 11 | .229 | .304 | .409 | .713 | 1.2 |
| Melo Misteur CF | 108 | 399 | 55 | 86 | 14 | 1 | 7 | 44 | 123 | 20 | 132 | 1 | 0 | .216 | .253 | .308 | .561 | -0.3 |
| Chazz Lamborghini DH | 108 | 394 | 63 | 91 | 16 | 0 | 25 | 69 | 182 | 49 | 102 | 0 | 0 | .231 | .315 | .462 | .777 | 0.4 |
| Literal Flamingo SS | 108 | 375 | 53 | 99 | 44 | 3 | 4 | 38 | 161 | 58 | 89 | 0 | 0 | .264 | .360 | .429 | .789 | 2.5 |
