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| Name | G | AB | R | H | 2B | 3B | HR | RBI | TB | BB | K | SB | CS | AVG | OBP | SLG | OPS | WAR |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Yvonne Escence CF | 54 | 222 | 34 | 56 | 21 | 0 | 5 | 17 | 92 | 28 | 49 | 0 | 1 | .252 | .339 | .414 | .753 | 1.2 |
| Bass Reeves 2B | 54 | 220 | 34 | 76 | 8 | 6 | 5 | 25 | 111 | 22 | 52 | 41 | 7 | .345 | .404 | .505 | .909 | 3.0 |
| Lawn Gnomes RF | 54 | 209 | 20 | 49 | 10 | 2 | 7 | 28 | 84 | 15 | 62 | 0 | 0 | .234 | .288 | .402 | .690 | -0.4 |
| Smalls LF | 54 | 209 | 19 | 62 | 12 | 2 | 3 | 27 | 87 | 17 | 56 | 0 | 1 | .297 | .346 | .416 | .763 | 0.1 |
| Literal Flamingo SS | 54 | 203 | 27 | 52 | 10 | 0 | 5 | 25 | 77 | 3 | 51 | 0 | 0 | .256 | .267 | .379 | .646 | 0.6 |
| Ted Giannoulas 1B | 54 | 203 | 37 | 53 | 7 | 1 | 17 | 46 | 113 | 28 | 51 | 0 | 0 | .261 | .346 | .557 | .903 | 1.4 |
| Daniel Plainview 3B | 54 | 203 | 23 | 54 | 9 | 0 | 8 | 19 | 87 | 11 | 46 | 0 | 0 | .266 | .306 | .429 | .734 | 0.8 |
| Chazz Lamborghini C | 54 | 201 | 18 | 52 | 19 | 1 | 5 | 22 | 88 | 19 | 46 | 0 | 0 | .259 | .323 | .438 | .761 | 0.7 |
| Neller Denstro DH | 28 | 100 | 11 | 25 | 8 | 0 | 5 | 11 | 48 | 5 | 22 | 0 | 0 | .250 | .286 | .480 | .766 | -0.2 |
| Chauncey Ingram DH | 26 | 98 | 11 | 17 | 7 | 0 | 1 | 8 | 27 | 5 | 26 | 0 | 0 | .173 | .214 | .276 | .489 | -0.9 |
