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| Name | G | AB | R | H | 2B | 3B | HR | RBI | TB | BB | K | SB | CS | AVG | OBP | SLG | OPS | WAR |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Luca 1B | 108 | 460 | 90 | 127 | 10 | 0 | 18 | 54 | 191 | 69 | 85 | 0 | 0 | .276 | .376 | .415 | .792 | 2.2 |
| Jimmy Lumber CF | 108 | 437 | 75 | 130 | 8 | 4 | 11 | 64 | 179 | 73 | 97 | 0 | 0 | .297 | .400 | .410 | .809 | 4.7 |
| Tung Tung Tung Sahur RF | 108 | 434 | 55 | 126 | 13 | 0 | 7 | 63 | 160 | 58 | 65 | 0 | 0 | .290 | .376 | .369 | .745 | 2.6 |
| Homer Simpson C | 108 | 432 | 66 | 121 | 7 | 0 | 13 | 71 | 167 | 61 | 77 | 0 | 0 | .280 | .371 | .387 | .757 | 2.9 |
| Alan Greer 2B | 108 | 428 | 64 | 139 | 16 | 2 | 14 | 57 | 201 | 39 | 70 | 0 | 1 | .325 | .389 | .470 | .858 | 4.8 |
| Paulie Wag DH | 108 | 428 | 56 | 113 | 7 | 0 | 20 | 76 | 180 | 43 | 89 | 0 | 0 | .264 | .333 | .421 | .753 | 0.7 |
| Ejecto Seato SS | 108 | 415 | 49 | 116 | 16 | 1 | 8 | 50 | 158 | 34 | 83 | 0 | 0 | .280 | .336 | .381 | .717 | 2.4 |
| Atlas Sluggs 3B | 108 | 404 | 55 | 101 | 7 | 0 | 17 | 61 | 159 | 75 | 78 | 0 | 0 | .250 | .368 | .394 | .761 | 2.0 |
| McScootie Fortune LF | 108 | 390 | 57 | 112 | 14 | 0 | 7 | 49 | 147 | 43 | 49 | 13 | 7 | .287 | .361 | .377 | .737 | 2.0 |
| Wowbert Belle RF | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 | .000 | .000 | .000 | -0.0 |
