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| Name | G | AB | R | H | 2B | 3B | HR | RBI | TB | BB | K | SB | CS | AVG | OBP | SLG | OPS | WAR |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Luca 1B | 27 | 120 | 25 | 39 | 2 | 0 | 5 | 12 | 56 | 14 | 17 | 0 | 0 | .325 | .400 | .467 | .867 | 1.1 |
| Tung Tung Tung Sahur RF | 27 | 113 | 14 | 37 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 18 | 43 | 12 | 19 | 0 | 0 | .327 | .398 | .381 | .779 | 0.9 |
| Jimmy Lumber CF | 27 | 107 | 23 | 34 | 1 | 2 | 4 | 23 | 51 | 21 | 23 | 0 | 0 | .318 | .434 | .477 | .911 | 1.7 |
| Ejecto Seato SS | 27 | 107 | 17 | 30 | 5 | 0 | 4 | 18 | 47 | 6 | 25 | 0 | 0 | .280 | .319 | .439 | .758 | 0.8 |
| Alan Greer 2B | 27 | 106 | 15 | 29 | 4 | 0 | 4 | 12 | 45 | 8 | 15 | 0 | 0 | .274 | .336 | .425 | .761 | 0.7 |
| Atlas Sluggs 3B | 27 | 106 | 14 | 28 | 3 | 0 | 6 | 18 | 49 | 15 | 16 | 0 | 0 | .264 | .352 | .462 | .815 | 0.8 |
| Homer Simpson C | 27 | 105 | 18 | 32 | 4 | 0 | 5 | 30 | 51 | 17 | 20 | 0 | 0 | .305 | .400 | .486 | .886 | 1.3 |
| Paulie Wag DH | 27 | 105 | 17 | 25 | 1 | 0 | 4 | 12 | 38 | 14 | 34 | 0 | 0 | .238 | .328 | .362 | .690 | -0.0 |
| McScootie Fortune LF | 27 | 99 | 15 | 27 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 11 | 33 | 10 | 11 | 1 | 0 | .273 | .339 | .333 | .673 | 0.2 |
| Wowbert Belle RF | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 | .000 | .000 | .000 | -0.0 |
