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| Name | G | AB | R | H | 2B | 3B | HR | RBI | TB | BB | K | SB | CS | AVG | OBP | SLG | OPS | WAR |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Luca 1B | 81 | 344 | 70 | 95 | 9 | 0 | 21 | 57 | 167 | 42 | 68 | 0 | 0 | .276 | .355 | .485 | .841 | 2.0 |
| Tung Tung Tung Sahur RF | 81 | 344 | 58 | 112 | 19 | 0 | 15 | 46 | 176 | 41 | 52 | 0 | 1 | .326 | .403 | .512 | .914 | 3.5 |
| Homer Simpson C | 81 | 338 | 46 | 106 | 13 | 0 | 13 | 46 | 158 | 42 | 67 | 0 | 2 | .314 | .390 | .467 | .857 | 3.1 |
| Paulie Wag DH | 81 | 334 | 63 | 97 | 16 | 0 | 19 | 67 | 170 | 38 | 43 | 0 | 0 | .290 | .363 | .509 | .872 | 2.0 |
| Alan Greer CF | 81 | 322 | 51 | 109 | 16 | 0 | 11 | 50 | 158 | 33 | 43 | 0 | 0 | .339 | .397 | .491 | .888 | 4.3 |
| Atlas Sluggs 3B | 81 | 305 | 47 | 73 | 6 | 1 | 11 | 46 | 114 | 51 | 52 | 0 | 0 | .239 | .359 | .374 | .733 | 1.4 |
| Ejecto Seato SS | 81 | 297 | 46 | 85 | 9 | 2 | 6 | 47 | 116 | 25 | 50 | 0 | 1 | .286 | .345 | .391 | .735 | 1.9 |
| McScootie Fortune LF | 81 | 289 | 45 | 74 | 3 | 1 | 8 | 37 | 103 | 45 | 48 | 35 | 3 | .256 | .355 | .356 | .711 | 2.1 |
| Nathan Murphy 2B | 57 | 205 | 25 | 60 | 7 | 0 | 7 | 44 | 88 | 23 | 28 | 0 | 0 | .293 | .362 | .429 | .792 | 0.6 |
| Dan Thunder 2B | 36 | 109 | 11 | 20 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 11 | 28 | 3 | 13 | 0 | 0 | .183 | .205 | .257 | .462 | -0.4 |
