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| Name | G | AB | R | H | 2B | 3B | HR | RBI | TB | BB | K | SB | CS | AVG | OBP | SLG | OPS | WAR |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Jordan Love 1B | 108 | 469 | 73 | 151 | 12 | 2 | 22 | 82 | 233 | 27 | 78 | 0 | 0 | .322 | .357 | .497 | .854 | 2.4 |
| Lestat de Lioncourt C | 108 | 456 | 81 | 139 | 13 | 2 | 4 | 42 | 168 | 64 | 74 | 82 | 3 | .305 | .387 | .368 | .756 | 5.1 |
| Stick Man 2B | 108 | 439 | 65 | 133 | 22 | 0 | 10 | 67 | 185 | 44 | 67 | 20 | 10 | .303 | .363 | .421 | .784 | 4.2 |
| Walter Walterson 3B | 108 | 429 | 73 | 121 | 14 | 2 | 21 | 84 | 202 | 47 | 62 | 0 | 1 | .282 | .349 | .471 | .820 | 2.6 |
| Palin Drome LF | 108 | 418 | 45 | 120 | 13 | 1 | 6 | 49 | 153 | 36 | 52 | 0 | 0 | .287 | .341 | .366 | .707 | 1.5 |
| Brent Goldberg RF | 108 | 416 | 64 | 119 | 16 | 4 | 16 | 57 | 191 | 44 | 61 | 0 | 0 | .286 | .353 | .459 | .812 | 2.8 |
| Kries Von Kriestalhauser CF | 108 | 416 | 57 | 104 | 11 | 0 | 11 | 52 | 148 | 38 | 76 | 0 | 0 | .250 | .312 | .356 | .668 | 1.4 |
| Bill Slamsquatch 1B | 108 | 390 | 53 | 109 | 15 | 1 | 8 | 51 | 150 | 60 | 64 | 0 | 0 | .279 | .375 | .385 | .759 | 2.0 |
| Rob Cena IV SS | 108 | 389 | 47 | 85 | 8 | 1 | 10 | 51 | 125 | 33 | 59 | 0 | 0 | .219 | .280 | .321 | .601 | -0.4 |
