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| Name | G | AB | R | H | 2B | 3B | HR | RBI | TB | BB | K | SB | CS | AVG | OBP | SLG | OPS | WAR |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| BIG RED ROCK EATER C | 108 | 437 | 47 | 118 | 22 | 1 | 17 | 64 | 193 | 28 | 133 | 5 | 3 | .270 | .314 | .442 | .756 | 2.0 |
| Rhyno Legg DH | 108 | 429 | 66 | 87 | 25 | 3 | 2 | 24 | 124 | 53 | 120 | 58 | 7 | .203 | .290 | .289 | .579 | -1.0 |
| Sobert Randberg CF | 108 | 400 | 46 | 118 | 12 | 0 | 12 | 44 | 166 | 37 | 92 | 0 | 0 | .295 | .355 | .415 | .770 | 0.5 |
| Link Althouse RF | 108 | 399 | 50 | 96 | 12 | 0 | 20 | 59 | 168 | 47 | 132 | 0 | 1 | .241 | .321 | .421 | .742 | -1.8 |
| Sean Carrcrash SS | 101 | 371 | 37 | 89 | 15 | 2 | 15 | 41 | 153 | 28 | 92 | 0 | 1 | .240 | .291 | .412 | .703 | -2.0 |
| Barry Allen 3B | 88 | 360 | 48 | 99 | 15 | 3 | 11 | 41 | 153 | 42 | 72 | 43 | 19 | .275 | .349 | .425 | .774 | 0.6 |
| Walker Texas-Ranger 1B | 108 | 355 | 32 | 68 | 13 | 0 | 7 | 35 | 102 | 53 | 130 | 0 | 0 | .192 | .299 | .287 | .586 | -2.3 |
| Hulk Savage 2B | 81 | 265 | 16 | 53 | 11 | 0 | 2 | 18 | 70 | 23 | 68 | 0 | 0 | .200 | .264 | .264 | .528 | -0.8 |
| Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Snek RF | 54 | 204 | 24 | 50 | 6 | 1 | 8 | 22 | 82 | 15 | 55 | 0 | 0 | .245 | .299 | .402 | .701 | -0.2 |
| Tonk Mato LF | 54 | 191 | 22 | 46 | 9 | 1 | 5 | 17 | 72 | 15 | 55 | 0 | 3 | .241 | .295 | .377 | .672 | -0.4 |
| Arson Judge LF | 37 | 109 | 12 | 22 | 5 | 0 | 3 | 11 | 36 | 5 | 37 | 0 | 0 | .202 | .243 | .330 | .574 | -0.8 |
| Honk Shue SS | 27 | 93 | 8 | 21 | 6 | 0 | 1 | 5 | 30 | 7 | 26 | 0 | 0 | .226 | .277 | .323 | .600 | -0.9 |
| Odin CheekiSon SS | 7 | 27 | 1 | 6 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 10 | 2 | 8 | 0 | 0 | .222 | .276 | .370 | .646 | 0.1 |
