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| Name | G | AB | R | H | 2B | 3B | HR | RBI | TB | BB | K | SB | CS | AVG | OBP | SLG | OPS | WAR |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Vumion Stitcherson 2B | 47 | 213 | 27 | 68 | 6 | 1 | 3 | 19 | 85 | 15 | 28 | 0 | 0 | .319 | .362 | .399 | .762 | 1.2 |
| Srevor Tory DH | 47 | 205 | 28 | 60 | 5 | 0 | 11 | 37 | 98 | 10 | 39 | 0 | 0 | .293 | .323 | .478 | .801 | 0.6 |
| Handel Aldi's Nuts 3B | 47 | 204 | 30 | 61 | 2 | 1 | 6 | 17 | 83 | 18 | 22 | 0 | 1 | .299 | .360 | .407 | .767 | 1.4 |
| Jared Keeso RF | 47 | 203 | 27 | 52 | 10 | 0 | 9 | 27 | 89 | 22 | 26 | 0 | 0 | .256 | .329 | .438 | .767 | 0.1 |
| Bobs Bigboy 1B | 47 | 198 | 26 | 67 | 7 | 0 | 13 | 43 | 113 | 17 | 22 | 0 | 0 | .338 | .392 | .571 | .962 | 1.9 |
| Thomas Sankara SS | 47 | 194 | 25 | 66 | 10 | 0 | 4 | 22 | 88 | 12 | 25 | 0 | 0 | .340 | .380 | .454 | .833 | 2.6 |
| Career Minor Leaguer CF | 47 | 176 | 20 | 47 | 6 | 0 | 0 | 21 | 53 | 18 | 38 | 9 | 0 | .267 | .337 | .301 | .638 | -0.1 |
| Jerry Coleman C | 47 | 173 | 21 | 33 | 8 | 0 | 0 | 14 | 41 | 18 | 35 | 0 | 0 | .191 | .266 | .237 | .503 | -0.8 |
| Calvin O'Shanassy LF | 35 | 148 | 9 | 30 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 6 | 33 | 9 | 28 | 0 | 0 | .203 | .248 | .223 | .471 | -1.0 |
| Ulysses Ballion II LF | 16 | 50 | 8 | 13 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 7 | 16 | 3 | 12 | 0 | 0 | .260 | .296 | .320 | .616 | -0.2 |
| Gary the Giraffe SS | 9 | 7 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .286 | .286 | .286 | .571 | -0.0 |
