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| Pitchers | Pos | Team | Age | DOB | POB | Nat. | Bats | Throws | Height | Weight | Salary |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Horrendous Haddock III, Hiccup | SP | San Antonio Sloths | 27 | 04/20/2048 | Berkeley Lake | USA | Left | Left | 6' 1" | 175 lbs | - |
| Innings-Eater, Chad | SP | San Antonio Sloths | 27 | 04/20/2048 | Duluth | USA | Right | Right | 6' 0" | 185 lbs | - |
| Longpipe, Leonidas | SP | San Antonio Sloths | 29 | 04/20/2046 | Atlanta | USA | Right | Left | 6' 8" | 260 lbs | - |
| Tatum, Johnny | SP | San Antonio Sloths | 32 | 04/20/2043 | San Francisco | USA | Right | Left | 6' 5" | 220 lbs | - |
| Erikkson, Olli | RP | San Antonio Sloths | 23 | 04/20/2052 | Stockholm | SWE | Right | Right | 6' 6" | 190 lbs | - |
| Nilliam, William | RP | San Antonio Sloths | 22 | 08/30/2053 | Cambridge | ENG | Right | Left | 6' 8" | 230 lbs | - |
| RoboDibble, Cybernetically Enhanced | RP | San Antonio Sloths | 27 | 04/20/2048 | Bridgeport | USA | Right | Right | 6' 4" | 230 lbs | - |
| Krash, Carlos | CL | San Antonio Sloths | 23 | 04/20/2052 | Unknown | PAN | Right | Right | 6' 5" | 280 lbs | - |
| Catchers | Pos | Team | Age | DOB | POB | Nat. | Bats | Throws | Height | Weight | Salary |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Skoden, Les | C | San Antonio Sloths | 26 | 04/20/2049 | Niagara Falls | CAN | Left | Right | 6' 4" | 205 lbs | - |
| Infielders | Pos | Team | Age | DOB | POB | Nat. | Bats | Throws | Height | Weight | Salary |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Ferguson, Turd | 1B | San Antonio Sloths | 22 | 04/20/2053 | Hawaiian Beaches | USA | Switch | Right | 6' 4" | 225 lbs | - |
| Duckley Jr., Press | 2B | San Antonio Sloths | 25 | 04/20/2050 | Ludington | USA | Switch | Right | 6' 4" | 210 lbs | - |
| Mander, Jerry | 3B | San Antonio Sloths | 31 | 04/20/2044 | Brookfield | USA | Switch | Right | 5' 11" | 200 lbs | - |
| Named Later, Player To Be | SS | San Antonio Sloths | 24 | 04/20/2051 | Unknown | USA | Switch | Right | 6' 2" | 200 lbs | - |
| Outfielders | Pos | Team | Age | DOB | POB | Nat. | Bats | Throws | Height | Weight | Salary |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Laramie, Stetson | LF | San Antonio Sloths | 25 | 04/20/2050 | Calgary | CAN | Left | Right | 6' 2" | 210 lbs | - |
| Kell, Malcolm | CF | San Antonio Sloths | 30 | 04/20/2045 | Chicago | USA | Switch | Right | 6' 1" | 190 lbs | - |
| Whittle, Wyatt | RF | San Antonio Sloths | 22 | 04/20/2053 | Unknown | CAN | Switch | Right | 6' 2" | 220 lbs | - |
| Littleton, Rob | DH | San Antonio Sloths | 30 | 04/20/2045 | Chicago | USA | Right | Right | 5' 11" | 225 lbs | - |
